I have been married twice before and I know only too well all the signs you pointed out. The dangerouse ones are the perverse narcissists. This type not only want to build themselves up, but actually want to totally destroy you. They will gleefully push you to suicide. That is where the first one sent me. I pulled back at the very last moment. Yes it takes time, but as you say you can and do get over it. But it can take many years. Whatever, I'm good now and happily married to wife number three. Dont even get me started on number two ha ha ha.