And Another Thing that Bugs Me

Where is it written that as a highly qualified, widely experienced writer, teacher, musician, I have to work for free ?

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I’ve had my hot buttered toast, cappuccino coffee and cigarette. And now I have got the wind in my sails I can talk.

I have enjoyed relatively good success in all of my various occupations. I’ve had my scribblings published in well known media. I’ve had my own very successful language academy. I’ve had my own record label and released a few albums which have done ok selling them at live gigs. Above all, I have been suitably financially paid for it all.

So how is it that now in my twilight years I am expected to work for nothing?

I get my writings published on Medium and do not earn a cent from it.

I have two albums out on all streaming platforms, like Amazon, and have earned next to nothing in two years ! My albums sell for about ten dollars and I get paid thirty five cents per album !

And now in an attempt to restart my teaching career on-line I am expected to give free trial lessons. W.T.F.

The common denominator here is the internet. Don’t get me wrong, I think the internet is a wonderful thing. But it is also the economic ruin of many a poor soul trying to earn a hard crust.

In Spain teaching is not a profession, not any more it isn’t. Just about anybody who can utter a few phrases in English sets themselves up as a teacher and floods the market offering classes at very low prices.

Professional teachers cannot compete with three euros an hour. You can go and clean a bar with a mop and bucket for ten euros an hour ! These charlatans have ruined it for everybody with their fun and games.

I am living in Japan at the moment and I have to tell you the Japanese have got it right. If you haven’t got a qualification then you cannot teach, period.

Yet I read stories of young kids complaining why should they have to be qualified to teach in Japan. Yesterday I read an article by some goon on Gadjinpot saying that us qualified guys are too elitist just because we have a degree in teaching.

Here’s an elitist question for all you unqualified wannabees who cannot be bothered to do some training.

How would you like to get on an aeroplane with an untrained pilot, just some fool who has never had a flying lesson in his entire life. Somebody who does not know one end of an aeroplane from the other. Somebody who just strolls up to the aeroplane saying " Trust me I'm a pilot." Are you ok with that ?

Or how about going for an organ transplant with some geek who doesn't know a steak knife from a scalpel, who cannot even cut a piece of steak without making a mess of it ? Somebody who simply strolls into the hospital and says " Trust me, I'm a doctor."

I have spent far too much of my professional life correcting the mistakes arising out of bad teaching by untrained teachers. Idiots who set themselves up as teachers and do so much damage to students and the profession of teaching alike.

Like one fool telling me that swimming pool is all one word and I don’t know what I am talking about.

Like some young kid telling me that a couple meant more than two and a few meant just two !

Like a student, a mature man, angrily trying to convince me that “ I didn’t ought to do that “ was grammatically more correct than “ I shouldn’t have done that.” The uneducated imbecile just would not accept that “ I didn’t ought to do that “ in fact is totally, grammatically incorrect. Or am I just being " elitist " ?

May be it's just that I'm what you might call old school. More like it is that they are what I would call no school. And they have the audacity to try to tell me I haven't got a clue about English !

Somebody who spoke in that awful way once came to me for a job when I had my own academy. This person had no formal education, no experience and no discernible talent for teaching young children. Of course I rejected him. In less than a year he had set up his own language academy. God help his students.

Where does all this come from huh ? Well, in part, it comes from a lack of a proper education or training. It also comes from people saying to dullards, under achievers if you prefer, " You can do anything. " to boost their low self esteem. Well yes that's absolutely true, you can do anything, with the right training and education. It doesn't mean you can just wake up and declare yourself to be an expert neurosugeon you fool.

It also does not help when a big corporation like McDonalds, for example, have a slogan stating “ I’m lovin it.”

Did nobody bother to tell the copywriters that you cannot turn a stative verb such as “ like” into a gerund ? It jars with me every time I read it. And it is just about everywhere I go. Ergo I am permanently offended by this constant dumbing down of just about everything.

Whatever. If anybody knows of a job that actually recognises qualifications and experience, not to mention talent, and pays a dignified living wage, please do let me know. I am free, as in available, but not free as in you don't have to pay me anything. I am done with being the impoverished, educated, idiotic philanthropist.

Author, writer, Illumination Editor, Top Writer in short stories and poetry.

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